My Fish Are on Crack

So, a couple of weeks ago I decided I wanted a betta. Don't know why, other than they are pretty, but I wanted a betta. After dinner one night, since we were on that side of town, my anti-shopping husband, being drugged with some awesome chorizo and chicken fajitas, agreed to go look at the pet store.

Since I am the anti-anti-shopper, I couldn't just look at the bettas, I had to look at everything. Great. Wonderful idea. While deeply pondering every item in the pet store I came across a fish I had never seen before, glofish. These are awesome little "freaky" fish. They are actually zebra danios that have been genetically altered, not dyed, altered by splicing the genes of coral or squid with the fish. They were originally engineered to help detect toxic water since they glow when in contact with toxins. They are neon colored and slightly larger than a neon tetra. Very cute. These are like the perfect fish. Saltwater colors, no saltwater hassles. I had to have them.

After discovering the glofish, I went home, empty handed. But not for long. Soon I had ordered an aquarium and all the fixin's. A few days later I went back to the pet store and walked out with some live plants. Still no glofish. These little oddities of nature have to live.

A few days later I went out and walked out with 5 red and orange glofish and 1 indigo betta. Voila, a faux salt water fish tank. While watching my new little pets I have discovered that bettas swim very slowly--like a feather drifting on the wind. Glofish, however, swim very, very fast, like little fish hummingbirds. I do believe they are on crack or uppers or meth or whatever makes you fidgety. They also beat the betta to the food, so I sit there and watch the food until I am sure the betta isn't going to starve to death.

Oh, and contrary to popular belief, these fish get along great with my betta. There has been no nipping of fins, and no flaring of gills, except when the betta catches his own reflection in the glass. Which is when I learn that not only are my glofish on drugs, but my betta is suicidal.

Ella

And so it begins

Around our house there is a mystery ailment. It has a multitude of symptoms, and they are never the same. We don't know if it is a virus or a bacterial infection, but we do know its name--It is Michael's Gone Syndrome, and it always rears its head when Michael goes on a longer term TDY or on remote. In the past symptoms have ranged from the dog cutting off the tip of her tail, and making our house look like a crime scene while endlessly wagging said tail as I try to clean up behind her to me getting a peice of barbed wire caught in the blade of the riding lawnmower, and trying to disentangle it without getting my hand cut off to the muffler falling off of the car.

This time, however, the syndrome has taken on record speed in settling in. Yesterday Michael left for Korea. His flight left at 7am. The day started off ok. We all drove to the airport, saw him off and headed home for some sleep after only 3 hours of sleep the night before. So far, so good, unremarkable. Then I woke up, and had the brilliant idea to take B to get new running shoes. SUUUURE it sounds innocent and easy enough, but that would be before Michael's Gone Syndrome rears its head.

So we unsuspectingly head to Kohl's to get the shoes, and as we head out, I decide to get some gas. We drive to the gas station and fill up the van. Everything is normal. Then I try to leave the gas station. I turn the key and get nothing but a series of clicks. OK, this can not be good. I turn off the vehicle and try again. Same clicks. Definately not good. Everything works, but the van will not start. So, I call my dad. After all, he is only 3000 miles away, surely that won't be a hinderance. I ask, can it be the battery when everything else works? Thankfully, it can, easy fix.

Now for the fun part. B is only 15 he has no license, so he can only do so much. I walk into the gas station, and tell them that I have to leave my vehicle there for a bit while I go get my other vehicle. The extent of their help was to tell me that if I needed to jump the vehicle to push it away from the pumps first. Gee, thanks. So, I walk home and get my other vehicle and walk back. B pushes the van about 6 feet away from the pump and I move the car in front of the van to jump start it. It worked. Now, I drive the car home leaving B with the running van, and walk back. We drive to the nearest Walmart, buy a battery, and ask them to install it. We are the 2nd car in line, so it shouldn't take long. Wrong, after an hour and a half we wander back over to the automotive section and see the vehicle parked, so we assume it is finished. Nope. They decided we had to be in the tire change line, and moved us. There are still 3 vehicles in front of us. After asking for a refund on the battery, so I can go elsewhere they decide to take our vehicle next.

Finally after more than 2 hours we are going to get the shoes. We get in the van, and now we learn the entire entertainment system is malfunctioning. It no longer works. Back to Walmart we go. This time it only took about 10 minutes. Did you know that Honda has an anti-theft system that kicks in if the battery is disconnected for more than 10 minutes? I didn't. I do now. Everything is now fixed.

In order to stay alive, though, we opted to go home. We can get shoes tomorrow.


Ella