Once again, it has been a while since I have updated. To say life is a bit crazy right now would be an understatement…Well, not life, per say, but my mind’s handling of life. In the last four months Michael has retired from active duty service, Brendan has graduated high school, I went to visit family, Michael was hired in his “new” civilian career, Brendan chose to move with us (YAY!), we moved from a southernmost state to a northern state, AND we unexpectedly started house hunting an entire year earlier than we had planned. It is the house hunting that is going to be the death of me. Really. I should have a defibrillator on hand. I already have certified user on hand-just need the machine.
We thought when we started all of this that being preapproved meant things would go quickly. It may be going quickly, but if this is quickly I sure would hate to see what happens if you start all of this without pre-approval.
After about 4 weeks of open houses mostly in the rain, we found our house. Only I am a big chicken, so after 2 more weeks and many more houses…also mostly in the rain, we put in an offer on the house. Seller countered, we countered, seller agrees! Yay! We are done, we own a house. Yeah, not so much. You know how on HGTV, when the universe aligns, the angels sing, and the buyers and sellers agree to terms the always say (I’m talking to you Sandra!) “Congratulations, you bought a house!”? Well, they lied. That is really only the beginning…or the end of the prologue –you decide. Because now enters the antagonist of our story…the mortgage broker.
The mortgage broker gets your hopes up, tells you things will be done within 2 weeks, and then surreptitiously sends you a 42 page document in your email for you to review, fill out, sign, scan and return…right away. Right away, so you can wait. And wait, and wait. Your 2 week time frame comes and goes and then said mortgage broker goes on vacation. VACATION. Can we sue for Prozac?
Then, like a ton of bricks, you learn the mortgage broker is not the true antagonist, he is merely a red herring. Enter: The Underwriter (insert evil laugh here). The underwriters must have done really, really well in their Critical Thinking class because their entire purpose in life is to take every branch in a person’s financial life, and see how many kinds of documentation proving the EXACT SAME THING they can come up with to request. Do they ask for all of this at one time? No, that would be too easy. Perhaps they think we won’t notice how redundant their requests are if they space them out. But guess what? I did really well in my Critical Thinking course as well, and I am on to them. Yep, I am positive they work for the government, or Satan.
So here we sit, VA appraisal is in (Another government scam, by the way. Why am I paying what will be at least $625 for an appraisal that protects the government and not me?!), All of our paperwork is in, and all we can do is wait…again, and closing is in just 3 weeks. Before waiting a month for the underwriters and appraiser to turn in their paperwork that was supposed to take 2 weeks, I would have thought, “Wow! 3 weeks we have time to spare!” Not so much now. Now it is more like, “Three weeks! I hope we close on time!” On time being before I need to use that defibrillator!
Oh, and remember the part about it raining almost every time we went house hunting? Well, if you have a drought in your area for a nominal fee and travel expenses we will go to open houses in your area. Be sure to book soon. Slots are limited.
